Monday, April 25, 2005
You're a fag!
I relearnt something new today. In this age, the evils of AOL and the Internet has tainted everyday
speech with punctuations that would make all English purists roll in their respective graves and urns. Looking up the term "faggot" in dictionary.com, my darkened mind was illumined.
It not only means "Pesky" or "Michael Jackson" or "Anwar Ibrahim" but get this - it is also a bundle of sticks! Now if my ailing memory serves me correct, I read about this before, but am just working this old fogey's brain before the knowledge is lost to the next generation.
Stepping aside, from Generation X to Generation Rx...tsk tsk! And it all starts from better living through (experimental) chemistry, non?
I relearnt something new today. In this age, the evils of AOL and the Internet has tainted everyday
speech with punctuations that would make all English purists roll in their respective graves and urns. Looking up the term "faggot" in dictionary.com, my darkened mind was illumined.
It not only means "Pesky" or "Michael Jackson" or "Anwar Ibrahim" but get this - it is also a bundle of sticks! Now if my ailing memory serves me correct, I read about this before, but am just working this old fogey's brain before the knowledge is lost to the next generation.
Stepping aside, from Generation X to Generation Rx...tsk tsk! And it all starts from better living through (experimental) chemistry, non?
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Conversations
Amazonian: do you know how to get rid of rash without going to the doc?
Me: u sure u dun have herpes, shyphilis or gohnorrhea or anything like that? If its STD then make sure u stop having sex, have a dose of antibiotics lolo1lo1l1ol1ol1!
Methinks she's been traipsing round the daisies once too often and have developed an allergic reaction of some sort. LoyalHeart, what's your take on this?
Amazonian: do you know how to get rid of rash without going to the doc?
Me: u sure u dun have herpes, shyphilis or gohnorrhea or anything like that? If its STD then make sure u stop having sex, have a dose of antibiotics lolo1lo1l1ol1ol1!
Methinks she's been traipsing round the daisies once too often and have developed an allergic reaction of some sort. LoyalHeart, what's your take on this?
!1!One1One11One!!1
Currently stuck at the Pyramids in Donkey Kong: King of Swing. It wasn't exactly SNES inspired graphics, but its no 2D slouch either. A pretty different concept from other DK games, but it does get a bit boring after a while. It might make it for the review in June's upcoming GameAxis issue, who knows?
The Nintendo DS is going for circa RM650 here, but there's no software for it yet. Ditto for the PSP (weighing in at RM1200). It'd be something should the PSP come with a handphone module. I personally think that gaming gizmos should never be converged into a telephone, the very idea is blasphemous!
Its been freaking hot the past few days. Hot weather is supposed to be good for the thorny bastards called durians, but this does not seem to be. Papers say that the durian crops this year will be like a 75 year old AnDarTu (Anak Dara Tua) compared to last year's 36-24-34 measurements. Nontheless, do expect tons of people making their way up to Balik Pulau to savour this region's famous, mouth-watering, King of Fruits.
Arsenal and MU clash yet again for the FA Cup that was so famously snubbed by Fergie a few years back. Funny how a little reverse in fortune can cause such a paradigm shift. The Blues have got it down pat though, there's no denying that. It would be interesting to see them snapping up the world's best players and confining them to a bench in order the deprive the other teams from hiring the big guns. Kinda like buying up the other teams' galacticos in the FIFA series. Fun fun fun!
On a sidenote, can one actually publish one's thoughts on the medium of the Internet without wanting certain parties to read it? Truth is stranger than fiction after all. Gonna get some serious thinking done now, and maybe develop that idea further into an article. I've lost the initial verve of 2001 when churning out an article a week was easy :( It has now been reduced to the equivalent of having sex with your spouse when 40 - once a month at best! ;_; Ah well. C'est la vie and all that crap.
Currently stuck at the Pyramids in Donkey Kong: King of Swing. It wasn't exactly SNES inspired graphics, but its no 2D slouch either. A pretty different concept from other DK games, but it does get a bit boring after a while. It might make it for the review in June's upcoming GameAxis issue, who knows?
The Nintendo DS is going for circa RM650 here, but there's no software for it yet. Ditto for the PSP (weighing in at RM1200). It'd be something should the PSP come with a handphone module. I personally think that gaming gizmos should never be converged into a telephone, the very idea is blasphemous!
Its been freaking hot the past few days. Hot weather is supposed to be good for the thorny bastards called durians, but this does not seem to be. Papers say that the durian crops this year will be like a 75 year old AnDarTu (Anak Dara Tua) compared to last year's 36-24-34 measurements. Nontheless, do expect tons of people making their way up to Balik Pulau to savour this region's famous, mouth-watering, King of Fruits.
Arsenal and MU clash yet again for the FA Cup that was so famously snubbed by Fergie a few years back. Funny how a little reverse in fortune can cause such a paradigm shift. The Blues have got it down pat though, there's no denying that. It would be interesting to see them snapping up the world's best players and confining them to a bench in order the deprive the other teams from hiring the big guns. Kinda like buying up the other teams' galacticos in the FIFA series. Fun fun fun!
On a sidenote, can one actually publish one's thoughts on the medium of the Internet without wanting certain parties to read it? Truth is stranger than fiction after all. Gonna get some serious thinking done now, and maybe develop that idea further into an article. I've lost the initial verve of 2001 when churning out an article a week was easy :( It has now been reduced to the equivalent of having sex with your spouse when 40 - once a month at best! ;_; Ah well. C'est la vie and all that crap.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Across the Stars
Its raining outside now.
The skies don't seem too interested in relenting its load. I look out the window and wonder why. Why do
billions of raindrops soothe my nerves so? Is it some inbuilt mechanism of the human mind, to be awed
by nature?
I can troll through hours of Wikipedia, while achieving nuts at work. Truly, I don't deserve the grace bestowed on me so far, and my insufferable miserable self cries out for so much more. Is taking a leap so hard not knowing where I'm going to land?
Fleeting, time is. Go home now, I must. Enough Yoda-speek.
Its raining outside now.
Its raining outside now.
The skies don't seem too interested in relenting its load. I look out the window and wonder why. Why do
billions of raindrops soothe my nerves so? Is it some inbuilt mechanism of the human mind, to be awed
by nature?
I can troll through hours of Wikipedia, while achieving nuts at work. Truly, I don't deserve the grace bestowed on me so far, and my insufferable miserable self cries out for so much more. Is taking a leap so hard not knowing where I'm going to land?
Fleeting, time is. Go home now, I must. Enough Yoda-speek.
Its raining outside now.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
How do you explain the fact that 87% of the students passed the examinations of the Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia (STPM - Form 6) recently? When during your grandfather's time only 10% would have passed?
Are students getting smarter? Or are STPM questions getting easier? Let me put things in their proper perspective.
During your grandfather's time, they would ask exam questions like:
In what year did Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka?
The correct answer was "1402", and they found that only 10% of the students managed to answer the question correctly. This didn't go down too well with the authorities, because the objective of the exams was to pass people.
I mean, what's the point of having exams if people fail?
So later, they found another way to ask the same question:
Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year:
(a) 2001
(b) 2004
(c) 1986
(d) 1975
(e) 1402
Tick the correct answer.
The results were better in that 20% of the students passed. But it was still not good enough, so the authorities tried a different tact a few years later.
Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402. True or false?
Well, half of the students guessed "True" and the other half guessed "False". Fully 50% passed. The results were getting pretty acceptable by now.
Most other countries would be satisfied with a 50% passing rate, but not us. We are a better country, because we are a boleh country. The authorities then cracked their heads and then came out with this one:
Read the following sentence carefully.
"Parameswara, the cousin of Proton-Iswara, founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402." Underline the name of the person who founded Melaka.
60% underlined "Parameswara", 30% underlined "Proton-Iswara" and 10% underlined "1402". Hooiyoh......60% managed to pass! So krever!
But for some reason, the authorities were still not contented. So last year, they came out with this gem:
One day in the year 1402, Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka. Then he went home to have dinner. What did he eat ?
13% handed in blank answers, 57% wrote "Maggi Mee", and 10% wrote "Kentucky Fried Chicken", and 20% wrote "Tree bark". The official answer was "Food" of course!
After the marking was over, it was found that 87% of the students had passed.
87%............now that's pretty impressive!
So it's true. The students are indeed getting smarter.
Are students getting smarter? Or are STPM questions getting easier? Let me put things in their proper perspective.
During your grandfather's time, they would ask exam questions like:
In what year did Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka?
The correct answer was "1402", and they found that only 10% of the students managed to answer the question correctly. This didn't go down too well with the authorities, because the objective of the exams was to pass people.
I mean, what's the point of having exams if people fail?
So later, they found another way to ask the same question:
Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year:
(a) 2001
(b) 2004
(c) 1986
(d) 1975
(e) 1402
Tick the correct answer.
The results were better in that 20% of the students passed. But it was still not good enough, so the authorities tried a different tact a few years later.
Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402. True or false?
Well, half of the students guessed "True" and the other half guessed "False". Fully 50% passed. The results were getting pretty acceptable by now.
Most other countries would be satisfied with a 50% passing rate, but not us. We are a better country, because we are a boleh country. The authorities then cracked their heads and then came out with this one:
Read the following sentence carefully.
"Parameswara, the cousin of Proton-Iswara, founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402." Underline the name of the person who founded Melaka.
60% underlined "Parameswara", 30% underlined "Proton-Iswara" and 10% underlined "1402". Hooiyoh......60% managed to pass! So krever!
But for some reason, the authorities were still not contented. So last year, they came out with this gem:
One day in the year 1402, Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka. Then he went home to have dinner. What did he eat ?
13% handed in blank answers, 57% wrote "Maggi Mee", and 10% wrote "Kentucky Fried Chicken", and 20% wrote "Tree bark". The official answer was "Food" of course!
After the marking was over, it was found that 87% of the students had passed.
87%............now that's pretty impressive!
So it's true. The students are indeed getting smarter.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Sith is an anagram for Shit
Microforce Corp. has recently released a press statement that the release of their next-gen operating system, Windu Longhorn has been delayed. This is due to a glitch in the Death Star mainframe that wiped out the 3rd world planet All-The-Wrong that houses the Dark Side's programmers.
This disaster of untold proportions have also caused support for Windu 95, Windu 98, Windu 2000, and Windu XP to cease overnight. Chief Programmer Mace Windu, however, was not present on the said planet as he was busy cloning his Windu XP Service Pack 2 on Geonosis.
Darth Vader could not be reached for comment on the situation. He whisked off in his Imperial Shuttle, flanked by 4 Imperial Stormtroopers - C,3,P, and O.
More updates will be made to the galaxy as the situation develops. Force-users version 5.0 and above are encouraged to register with Microforce's website in order to get the latest developments. Those using defunct Force browsers will have to download the JediMindTrick® patch first. Non-Force users will have to sit this one out beside their Sarlacc pits.
Microforce Corp. has recently released a press statement that the release of their next-gen operating system, Windu Longhorn has been delayed. This is due to a glitch in the Death Star mainframe that wiped out the 3rd world planet All-The-Wrong that houses the Dark Side's programmers.
This disaster of untold proportions have also caused support for Windu 95, Windu 98, Windu 2000, and Windu XP to cease overnight. Chief Programmer Mace Windu, however, was not present on the said planet as he was busy cloning his Windu XP Service Pack 2 on Geonosis.
Darth Vader could not be reached for comment on the situation. He whisked off in his Imperial Shuttle, flanked by 4 Imperial Stormtroopers - C,3,P, and O.
More updates will be made to the galaxy as the situation develops. Force-users version 5.0 and above are encouraged to register with Microforce's website in order to get the latest developments. Those using defunct Force browsers will have to download the JediMindTrick® patch first. Non-Force users will have to sit this one out beside their Sarlacc pits.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
What'd I Say
I was practically soaking in my sweat this afternoon after lunch hour. It really is hard to smell the roses under this kind of weather. Sweltering heat, heavy traffic - perhaps on a roll of film it would all look so much more surreal.
Tested out Lego Star Wars just now...the graphics were cute! :) Its a 12MB download for the GBA ROM, slightly more than double what regular ROM sizes are. Will delve into it further the next few days.
Am thinking of switching over from Hotlink to Plan 75 from Maxis, but am short by RM100 for the deposit damnit! Its great that I can still retain the same number, and calls have just become more affordable than landed lines...heh heh. The only problem is the start up cost for low-middle income class folks like me, i.e. a cellphone. Maxis stated RM75 worth of call charges - does that include voicemail retrieval and SMSes? There's not much info on its website...
Attended Prudential's GM forum yesterday at Equatorial - that Bill Lisle guy is really something! Saw and met lots of high achievers there. Mind over matter. Can't be a dodo :( Wake up, Edwin!
There's a kind of Catch 22 situation I've been thinking about. Really successful people of this world, those given the best in life because they think they deserve the best (which they do). Across a church's demography, these people tend to gravitate toward mega-churches and Pentecostal ones. Of course you could argue that mega-churches have a higher concentration of these people due to the numbers game, but when it comes to Pentecostal churches, I'm not too sure. The congregation size is fairly huge, and some of them have asked me to join their churches because of the amneties and facilities (biggest car park, biggest library, biggest music library), the amount of highly successful people there (most BMWs, Porsches and Ferarris), and the likes. If God were to ask any of these people to make a drastic breakaway from their high-flying life and serve in the mission field under humble circumstances, can they do it?
On the other hand, we have rather traditional churches who eschew the pitfalls of worldly success, and often remain unmotivated to improve on their condition by conveniently giving the excuse of not being of this world. It is a noble cause provided true - but ask these church workers who volunteer and contribute much of their time to switch to a more secular line of job, would they survive? Are their Christian values and principles strong enough to stand against the tide of the world? Will they be able to make it through the fire, refined and anchored in Christ? Or will they fall apart and be consumed by the flames like dry grass?
As for those who neither possess power suits and power steering, nor running the church's administrative duties 24/7, how do they do in their respective fields? Those in the secular world like me, with a little bit of time contributed to building up the church? Its a sin not to try my very best in everything I do, and I pitifully fail that test most of the time. I'm a self-righteous bastard. It is a sin to accept my situation and not to anything about it - I'm pretty sure someone who's a bed of good soil will not let the Word sown in him be in vain.
What does that ultimately entail? More shit on me please, I need to be fertile :D
I had my first taste as a hawker's helping hand last Saturday. Was it an eye-opener for me! When the customers come, they come in droves! Something like the bunch of pimply juveniles back in my days as a Silver Surfer cashier. Things were simpler last time - "We want PC, together-gether!" or "Internet!". This time around, you have so many more things to juggle.
"1 bowl Hokkien Mee, no vege, no meat, only fishball, no fried onion, some garlic, extra chilli. Sitting behind!"
Take all those combinations and count the permutations that can be derived from. Drive's one nuts! In addition to that, you've got to remember who ordered what and where the bugger scurried off to after placing his order. Collecting the used bowls and chopsticks was another matter. I don't think I have touched so many people's saliva and snot in a single day, ever.
One more thing I noticed, time passed by extremely slow. 3 hours felt like forever. All in all, I must say it was quite an experience, and I wouldn't mind giving it another shot. Now to learn how to cook and produce food en masse, Penang hawker style!
I was practically soaking in my sweat this afternoon after lunch hour. It really is hard to smell the roses under this kind of weather. Sweltering heat, heavy traffic - perhaps on a roll of film it would all look so much more surreal.
Tested out Lego Star Wars just now...the graphics were cute! :) Its a 12MB download for the GBA ROM, slightly more than double what regular ROM sizes are. Will delve into it further the next few days.
Am thinking of switching over from Hotlink to Plan 75 from Maxis, but am short by RM100 for the deposit damnit! Its great that I can still retain the same number, and calls have just become more affordable than landed lines...heh heh. The only problem is the start up cost for low-middle income class folks like me, i.e. a cellphone. Maxis stated RM75 worth of call charges - does that include voicemail retrieval and SMSes? There's not much info on its website...
Attended Prudential's GM forum yesterday at Equatorial - that Bill Lisle guy is really something! Saw and met lots of high achievers there. Mind over matter. Can't be a dodo :( Wake up, Edwin!
There's a kind of Catch 22 situation I've been thinking about. Really successful people of this world, those given the best in life because they think they deserve the best (which they do). Across a church's demography, these people tend to gravitate toward mega-churches and Pentecostal ones. Of course you could argue that mega-churches have a higher concentration of these people due to the numbers game, but when it comes to Pentecostal churches, I'm not too sure. The congregation size is fairly huge, and some of them have asked me to join their churches because of the amneties and facilities (biggest car park, biggest library, biggest music library), the amount of highly successful people there (most BMWs, Porsches and Ferarris), and the likes. If God were to ask any of these people to make a drastic breakaway from their high-flying life and serve in the mission field under humble circumstances, can they do it?
On the other hand, we have rather traditional churches who eschew the pitfalls of worldly success, and often remain unmotivated to improve on their condition by conveniently giving the excuse of not being of this world. It is a noble cause provided true - but ask these church workers who volunteer and contribute much of their time to switch to a more secular line of job, would they survive? Are their Christian values and principles strong enough to stand against the tide of the world? Will they be able to make it through the fire, refined and anchored in Christ? Or will they fall apart and be consumed by the flames like dry grass?
As for those who neither possess power suits and power steering, nor running the church's administrative duties 24/7, how do they do in their respective fields? Those in the secular world like me, with a little bit of time contributed to building up the church? Its a sin not to try my very best in everything I do, and I pitifully fail that test most of the time. I'm a self-righteous bastard. It is a sin to accept my situation and not to anything about it - I'm pretty sure someone who's a bed of good soil will not let the Word sown in him be in vain.
What does that ultimately entail? More shit on me please, I need to be fertile :D
I had my first taste as a hawker's helping hand last Saturday. Was it an eye-opener for me! When the customers come, they come in droves! Something like the bunch of pimply juveniles back in my days as a Silver Surfer cashier. Things were simpler last time - "We want PC, together-gether!" or "Internet!". This time around, you have so many more things to juggle.
"1 bowl Hokkien Mee, no vege, no meat, only fishball, no fried onion, some garlic, extra chilli. Sitting behind!"
Take all those combinations and count the permutations that can be derived from. Drive's one nuts! In addition to that, you've got to remember who ordered what and where the bugger scurried off to after placing his order. Collecting the used bowls and chopsticks was another matter. I don't think I have touched so many people's saliva and snot in a single day, ever.
One more thing I noticed, time passed by extremely slow. 3 hours felt like forever. All in all, I must say it was quite an experience, and I wouldn't mind giving it another shot. Now to learn how to cook and produce food en masse, Penang hawker style!
Friday, April 01, 2005
Ok Ok I know I know - Kanasai!
Sharon (S): Hello, may I speak to Edwin please?
Me: Speaking. Good morning!
S:Hi, I'm Sharon calling from an IT Company.
Me: Yes, how may I help you?
S: Can I drop by your place today? I would like to pass you some brochures, I came the last time and the receptionist referred your name but I waited for 15 minutes and nothing happened so I went back.
Me: *bewildered* Okay...so you work for an IT Company? What brochures would you like to drop? Maybe if you have a softcopy it would be easier for both parties?
S: Actually the softcopy is not with me now. We sell IT products.
Me: Right, and what kind of IT products?
S: All sorts from A-Z. We sell servers, PCs from IBM, HP, etc.
Me: So your brochure contains IT products?
S: Yeah.
Me: I'm quite sure you have a price list then? A generic price list?
S: Not really, because our solutions are customised to our customer's needs. So there is no set price for each item.
Me: Come on, I'm quite sure you must have at least a reference point when it comes to price? Even places like Lowyat sell stuff from A-Z and even 1-10, but they do come with a price list as well!
S: No I'm sorry but we don't have a price list, just a brochure.
Me: Maybe I didn't explain it well enough, for example, you said your company sells IBM and HP stuff right?
S: Yea.
Me: So don't you have a price list that lists (for e.g.) IBM PC1 @ RMXXX - IBM PC5 @ RMXXX, HP PC1 @ RMYYY and HP PC2 @ RMYYY?
S: Sorry we're not like Dell, who lists down every single item we have on sale. We provide customisable solutions for our customers, so there is not set price.
/ Me is *extremely bewildered now*
S:May I know where's your office then?
Me: Its located at Wisma Prudential in Pulau Tikus, opposite Maybank.
S: Ok ok I know already...opposite Maybank...any more landmarks?
Me: Fatty Loh Chicken Rice. Are you from Penang?
S: Yessss. (louder this time round) Oohhhhh, Fatty Loh...ok ok I know liao. Near Chinese Swimming Club right?
Me: No no, its beside the Pulau Tikus Fatty Loh Chicken Rice shop. Opposite Maybank and Public Bank.
S: Ahhh ok ok I know for sure liao. I'll drop by later and pass the brochure to the receptionist?
Me: Yeah that'd be cool. Laters.
S: Byeeee!
No price list...WTF?!?!! And what's with the "ok ok I know I know" shit. Excuse my nitpicking ;)
Ok ok I know I know, I should be more forgiving :P Its Friday after all.
Sharon (S): Hello, may I speak to Edwin please?
Me: Speaking. Good morning!
S:Hi, I'm Sharon calling from an IT Company.
Me: Yes, how may I help you?
S: Can I drop by your place today? I would like to pass you some brochures, I came the last time and the receptionist referred your name but I waited for 15 minutes and nothing happened so I went back.
Me: *bewildered* Okay...so you work for an IT Company? What brochures would you like to drop? Maybe if you have a softcopy it would be easier for both parties?
S: Actually the softcopy is not with me now. We sell IT products.
Me: Right, and what kind of IT products?
S: All sorts from A-Z. We sell servers, PCs from IBM, HP, etc.
Me: So your brochure contains IT products?
S: Yeah.
Me: I'm quite sure you have a price list then? A generic price list?
S: Not really, because our solutions are customised to our customer's needs. So there is no set price for each item.
Me: Come on, I'm quite sure you must have at least a reference point when it comes to price? Even places like Lowyat sell stuff from A-Z and even 1-10, but they do come with a price list as well!
S: No I'm sorry but we don't have a price list, just a brochure.
Me: Maybe I didn't explain it well enough, for example, you said your company sells IBM and HP stuff right?
S: Yea.
Me: So don't you have a price list that lists (for e.g.) IBM PC1 @ RMXXX - IBM PC5 @ RMXXX, HP PC1 @ RMYYY and HP PC2 @ RMYYY?
S: Sorry we're not like Dell, who lists down every single item we have on sale. We provide customisable solutions for our customers, so there is not set price.
/ Me is *extremely bewildered now*
S:May I know where's your office then?
Me: Its located at Wisma Prudential in Pulau Tikus, opposite Maybank.
S: Ok ok I know already...opposite Maybank...any more landmarks?
Me: Fatty Loh Chicken Rice. Are you from Penang?
S: Yessss. (louder this time round) Oohhhhh, Fatty Loh...ok ok I know liao. Near Chinese Swimming Club right?
Me: No no, its beside the Pulau Tikus Fatty Loh Chicken Rice shop. Opposite Maybank and Public Bank.
S: Ahhh ok ok I know for sure liao. I'll drop by later and pass the brochure to the receptionist?
Me: Yeah that'd be cool. Laters.
S: Byeeee!
No price list...WTF?!?!! And what's with the "ok ok I know I know" shit. Excuse my nitpicking ;)
Ok ok I know I know, I should be more forgiving :P Its Friday after all.
